Without You
by HiddenInTheTardis
Summary: "Please, Rose," he begged, his voice husky with emotion, "Please don't leave me." A whimper fell from Rose's trembling lips. "Rose, what will I do without you?" Ten/Rose. ON HIATUS
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Without You**

**Prologue**

Rose stood in the middle of the console room, her rucksack at her feet, trying to hold onto the tears that were threatening to escape down her cheeks. The green glowing light that she had gotten so used to was casting a strange shadow against her skin, making her seem like she was already fading away.

The Doctor stood in front of her, unable to speak, unable to move, frozen to the spot in shock.

"But... w-why, Rose?" he stammered, confused and bewildered.

Rose took a shaky breath, and closed her eyes for a moment to calm herself before she answered. "I have to. I have my reasons."

"Reasons? What reasons? What reasons could possibly justify us not... being together anymore?" he said quickly.

"It doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters! Please, Rose, just think about it. Sleep on it. Go see your mum for a couple of days... just please don't do this!"

"I've already made my mind up," she replied in a harsh voice. She wanted to cry. She knew she would. She just had to get out of the door first.

The Doctor felt a lump form in his throat, and his face drained of colour.

"I'm sorry," Rose whispered, mirroring the words he used on a near daily basis to the victims of circumstance. "I've gotta go."

She picked up her bag and stepped towards the door. The Doctor rushed over towards her, closing the space between them and gripping her upper arms. She refused to look up at him.

"Rose, look at me."  
She shook her head, her hair falling into her face. The movement caused the promised tears to fall, flowing down her cheeks to her shirt.

"Look at me!"

She managed to look up at him, and locked her gaze with his tortured eyes.

The Doctor tried to swallow the lump in his throat, but he couldn't get rid of it. He couldn't believe this was happening. For the second time in his haunted life, he was being separated from everything that was important to him; everything that he lived for was going to walk out the door and he was powerless to stop it.

"Please, Rose," he begged, his voice husky with emotion, "Please don't leave me."

A whimper fell from Rose's trembling lips.

"Rose, what will I do without you?" His voice broke as he spoke.

Rose blinked back fresh tears. She looked up at the man who meant everything to him, and wished he could understand. But he couldn't know. She couldn't let him know.

Without thinking, she reached up to the collar of his shirt and pulled him down to her, pressing her lips firmly to his for a fleeting moment, not risking lingering too long – she couldn't bear to think that this would be the one kiss, the only one _true_ kiss, they could share. She pulled away, and took a deep, shuddering breath.

"See ya, then, Doctor."

"Rose."

She pulled free of his grip and headed to the door without looking back. She couldn't bear to look back. The TARDIS hummed after her, mirroring the Doctor's despair and grief.

"Rose, please..."

Her hand touched the door, and she pushed it open and stepped resolutely out into the dull light of a London afternoon. She let the door close behind her, locking away the pain, and strode away from the blue box and the broken man inside it.

_A/N: Please let me know what you think! I know its different to my other stories, but I'm hoping people will enjoy it. I'm a little rusty as I haven't written Whofic in a while, so constructive criticism will be appreciated. As for my other stories, they are currently on hiatus: being away for so long, I have lost my inspiration for them. I hope to pick them up again at some point in the future._

_Thanks for reading._


	2. Chapter 1

_A/N: Thank you all sooo much for the support you guys have given me for the prologue, I really appreciate it. _

_By the way, I think I forgot to mention in the prologue that this story takes place in Series 2 after The Satan Pit. Scatterbrain here forgot to tell you!_

_Enjoy chapter one!_

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Without You**

**Chapter One**

Rose grinned at the Doctor as he sat as still as stone, staring down at the scrabble board. His brow furrowed and his eyes concentrated behind his glasses, which were slowly sliding down his nose.

Rose giggled.

The Doctor glanced once more at his letters: Q, X, J, E, E, I and F. He sighed, and put down a few of them onto the board.

"Um... what's 'Qeejix?'" Rose inquired, trying to keep a straight face.

"Its a sort of pasta, invented by the Madoli on a rainy day in the Rollofs galaxy in the early 23rd century."

Rose pretended to be shocked. "Doctor! Are you trying to cheat? You know you can only have English words."

"Show me where it says that!" he challenged, swiping his glasses from his face and staring at her.

Rose pointed to the rules listed in the instructions. "Right there!"

"Oh."

Rose laughed. "Come on, I want to see what else is here."

She linked arms with the confused Time Lord and dragged him from the large tent, leaving behind several others engrossed in their own scrabble games.

The sunlight outside was blinding compared to the dim artificial light in the tent, and Rose blinked several times to focus her eyes. The noise and chatter and smells of the whole place overwhelmed her senses, and she took a few moments just to take it all in. The Doctor had brought her to the Earth Appreciation festival, year 4000. It was like a huge funfair, a whole amalgamation of everything that, in the 'experts' opinion, represented the history of the life and culture of Earth and its people. Fifteen thousand tourists were busy making their way round the most eclectic collection of Earth memorabilia that Rose had ever seen. Ice cream and roller coasters and motor bikes and an Eiffel Tower recreation and The Who and chocolate biscuits and postcards and tie dye and Football and so many other things that she couldn't even begin to list. She was about to head over to a make-up stall when she was pulled in the opposite direction by her favourite alien.

"Rose, look! Banana bread!"

Rose laughed as her arm was nearly pulled off by his enthusiasm. His grin was a mile wide as he stunned the woman behind the stall with a long Doctorish ramble about the history of Banana bread. Rose rolled her eyes and left him to it, wandering off towards the smell of candy floss and popcorn.

Walking past an old-fashioned carousel, with painted horses and twisting poles. The whirling atmosphere – the sights and smells of the festival seemed to dilute in the air, and a cold breeze blew past her shoulders. She shuddered, feeling eyes on the back of her neck. She turned, to see a young child standing motionless in front of the carousel. A girl. A little blonde girl.

Her face. Her face was too familiar.

Rose gasped as she recognised the features. The little girl slowly lifted her arm, and pointed at Rose.

"I know you, Rose Tyler."

Rose stared in horror at the impossible reflection. Rose Marion Tyler, ten years old, stood there in front of her with accusing eyes.

_A/N: Okay, I know that's a mean place to leave it, but the next chapter will be longer, and I'll hopefully post it this weekend. The idea of a creepy little girl may seem a bit cliché, but I hope I'll do it justice. Please let me know what you think!_


	3. Chapter 2

_A/N: Hello again! Thanks so much for all the support, I'm always so moved by all the lovely comments and reviews I get. So thank you. _

Disclaimer: I have Pocky, but the patented yummyness is not mine. I have Doctor Who DVDs, but the idea and characters do not belong to me. Get the idea?

**Without You**

**Chapter Two**

"This isn't real!" Rose laughed in disbelief. There was no way she could possibly be looking at her younger self. But no other explanation presented itself.

The little girl stood perfectly still, looking at Rose with eyes full of sympathy and sadness.

"Rose, I can assure you, it is me." Her words didn't seem to fit her face, as if someone were speaking through her. "There is no time for doubt. I have come to warn you."

Rose stood defiantly with her hands on her hips. "What d'you mean? Warn me about what?"

"You need to leave him, Rose."

Rose's heart skipped a beat. She instantly knew this girl – she refused to believe it was actually her – was talking about the Doctor.

She had a sudden thought, and her eyes narrowed.

"If you're really me from years ago, how come I don't remember coming here as a little girl and speaking to the 'grown up' me?"

Rose Junior smiled, a small, humourless smile that made Rose shiver. "How were you able to go back in time to see your mother and father get married?"

Rose shifted uncomfortably. She felt as if she were no longer in the festival at all, that everything around her, so sure and solid only moments ago, was now lost behind some invisible blanket, making everything foggy and hazy.

"Never mind that; what did you mean about the Doctor? I'm never gonna leave him!" she insisted.

"If you never leave him, how can he move on?"

Rose shook her head, the hazy feeling filling her mind. "Move on from what?"

"You've heard the story, Rose. When the Doctor found you so long ago, he was broken, tired and angry from battle. You healed him, Rose, but you cannot help him move on. I have seen it."

Rose glared at the child.

"I think I know what I'm doing."

The child's eyes flared intensely. "Rose Tyler, you will be the death of the man you love. You cannot stay with him forever, and the longer you stay with him now, the more you scar him. It will make it harder for him when you do leave him."

"I AM NOT GONNA LEAVE HIM!" Rose screeched.

"ONE DAY YOU WILL HAVE NO CHOICE!"

Rose's face turned white. She knew this was true. She felt her racing heart slow to an uneven, sluggish pace, and she slumped to the ground. Everything was lost to her now, the physical world around her cut off from her senses, leaving her alone and desolate.

She had always tried not to think about the future, but ever since their encounter with Sarah Jane, she had come to realise her own mortality. The Doctor was so _human_ when he was around her, it was hard to believe that he was really as old as he said he was. It was hard to think that, even though he had already lived for so long, lived through so much, he would outlive her. Likely by decades, centuries. Rose tried to shake the thought from her head, but all she could hear was the Beasts voice, echoing around her like a curse.

"_The valiant child who will die in battle so very soon_..."

The Doctor turned from the bananabread stall, chewing heartily. He scanned the crown for any sign of Rose. He remembered her wandering off east...

He frowned. Was that Deception Tent there before?

_A/N: Okay, I know these are short chapters, but I think this story best fits small, speedy chapters. Well it makes sense when I write it, anyway._

_Wow, went through a whole packet of Pocky just writing that chapter! O_o_

_By the way, I've started a blog (link on my profile page if you are REALLY bored), but I'm a bit of a dunce when it comes to stuff like that, so if anyone has any suggestions or tips about blogging please send me a PM (I really have no idea what I'm doing)._

_Thanks for reading!_


	4. Chapter 3

_A/N: Thank you all again for your lovely reviews. I'm so glad I have the energy to write this. Everything has been so hectic lately; I quit my job and plan to go to university next year (I'm a bit nervous about being a couple of years older than most of the students there, but I'm sure it'll be okay!). So, with all that happening in the last couple of weeks, I've barely had time to breathe, let alone write. I hope you'll forgive me._

_Enjoy chapter three xx_

**Without You**

**Chapter Three**

"Rose?"

The sound of the familiar voice snapped Rose back to reality. She looked all around, dazed. She was stood in the middle of the festival staring up at a giant projection of the cast of 'Friends', with no idea how she got there. All she could remember was the little Rose, with her intense eyes. She tried to shake the encounter from her mind, but all those seeds of doubt that the girl had planted seeped into her mind like poison.

"Rose, are you alright?"

Rose looked for the voice, and found the Doctor stood next to her, chewing on something and gazing at her with worried eyes. He reached out a hand to her shoulder, and she jumped at the contact.

"You're really pale; did I miss something?"

Rose tried to form words, but her lips refused to move. She shook her head vigorously, her blonde hair hitting her cheeks. She tried to smile, but she couldn't tell if it worked.

The Doctor's brow set in a deep frown.

"I think we'd better get you back to the TARDIS."

He tried to lead her towards the blue box, but she brushed his hand away.

"Don't fuss, I'm fine."

He held his hands up in defeat, and let her make her own way back.

He eyed the Deception Tent suspiciously as they headed away from it.

"Rose, did you go in that purple tent?"

"I haven't been in any tent," she snapped, already reaching for the TARDIS door.

By the time the Doctor got into the console room, she was already slamming doors on her way to her room. The Time Lord sighed, and hung his coat on the coat stand without taking his eyes off the interior door. It fell, discarded, to the floor. He leaned against the console, his face set in a worried frown. He hoped she hadn't gone anywhere near that Deception Tent. They were nothing but trouble.

----

Rose fell onto her bed and cried. She sobbed and spluttered into her pillows, her whole body shaking. Why had that girl – she refused to believe it was actually _her_ – mentioned all those things? All her worst nightmares, right in front of her eyes. Because it was exactly what she had always thought. Why would somebody as wonderful and fantastic as the Doctor want to spend forever with a shopgirl from London? And it dawned on her. It wouldn't be forever. It _couldn't_. She always knew it really, at the back of her mind. He would outlive her. One way or another, the Doctor had to live, the Doctor _always_ had to live, for the good of the Universe. And he would have to live on alone. Maybe that girl was right. Maybe it would be better to leave now, rather than drag out the pain...

----

The Doctor stood outside Rose's room, a mug of tea in each hand. One sugar for Rose, three for him. Her favourite mug, and the one with bananas on that she had bought him. He couldn't bring himself to knock on the door. Something was really wrong, but he had no idea what. What could possibly have happened to Rose in the few minutes he had left her alone, to make her react like this? It was so unlike her. And he hated to see her unhappy.

He was just about to knock, when the door opened, and Rose looked up, surprised to see him there. Her hair was a mess and her make-up was smudged a little. She tried to smile, but fresh tears welled up in her eyes. It broke his hearts.

"Hi, Doctor."

"Hi."

"Can we talk?"


	5. Chapter 4

_A/N: This chapter is dedicated to _AzureFalls_ and _Soreye_, whose enthusiasm for _The Eleventh Hour_ inspired me to continue this story. Long live Ten!!!_

_Just a reminder, this story takes place in Series 2, after _The Satan Pit_._

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Without You**

**Chapter Four**

_He was just about to knock, when the door opened, and Rose looked up, surprised to see him there. Her hair was a mess and her make-up was smudged a little. She tried to smile, but fresh tears welled up in her eyes. It broke his hearts._

_"Hi, Doctor."_

_"Hi."_

_"Can we talk?"_

_----  
_

The Doctor tried to swallow the lump in his throat, but it wouldn't shift. He took a deep breath, and nodded.

"Course we can."

Without looking back up at him, Rose turned back into her room and perched herself on the edge of her bed. The Doctor noticed that she had, uncharacteristically, made her bed. And then he noticed the backpack on the floor. The packed backpack on the floor.

He set the tea down on the dresser before his shaking hands could drop the mugs. Rose glanced at the bag at her feet, then smoothed down an imaginary crease in the pillow. She took a breath to steady herself before speaking.

"Um... I think I'm gonna go home," she said quietly.

The Doctor nodded again, the lump in his throat swelling. "Okay, sure. We haven't visited your mum in a while?" He phrased it as a question, praying that she only wanted to visit.

Rose heard the hope in his voice, and cringed slightly. "No, I mean... I'm gonna leave... and go home."

"Why?" the Doctor asked abruptly.

Rose glanced up to find his face hard and his brow set.

"What's brought this on?"

"Nothing," she replied defensively. "I just... I think its time."

"Why?" There was something behind this, some reason she was not telling him. Why did she think she couldn't tell him?

"There doesn't have to be a reason!" Rose stood up to defend herself.

"Yes, there does, Rose!" The Doctor's voice was getting louder, harsher.

"Yeah well I've got a reason, if you're gonna shout at me!" Fresh tears escaped her eyes as she hauled her backpack from the ground and flung it over her shoulder, stumbling under the weight of it. She stormed out towards the console room.

The Doctor immediately regretted how he had acted. "No, Rose, wait! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout! Just think about this!" He rushed to catch up with her, the tea left forgotten on the dresser.

Once he reached the console room, he found Rose staring at the door. "Take me home please," she asked, her voice devoid of emotion. The Doctor, unable to deny her anything she asked, unconsciously starting twisting dials and pressing buttons, making the TARDIS churn and whir until it finally came to a standstill.

Rose stood in the middle of the room, her rucksack at her feet, trying to hold onto the tears that were threatening to escape down her cheeks. The green glowing light that she had gotten so used to was casting a strange shadow against her skin, making her seem like she was already fading away.

"Let me come with you, Rose," the Doctor pleaded. "Something is wrong; let me help you work it out. Please."

Rose rubbed her eyes, trying to summon her courage to make her words sound genuine. "I don't _want_ you to come with me, Doctor."

The Doctor stood in front of her, unable to speak, unable to move, frozen to the spot in shock.

"But... w-why, Rose?" he stammered, confused and bewildered.

Rose took a shaky breath, and closed her eyes for a moment to calm herself before she answered. "I have to. I have my reasons."

"Reasons? What reasons? What reasons could possibly justify us not... being together anymore?" he said quickly.

"It doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters! Please, Rose, just think about it. Sleep on it. Go see your mum for a couple of days... just please don't do this!"

"I've already made my mind up," she replied in a harsh voice. She wanted to cry. She knew she would. She just had to get out of the door first.

The Doctor breath caught on the lump in his throat, and his face drained of colour.

"I'm sorry," Rose whispered, mirroring the words he used on a near daily basis to the victims of circumstance. "I've gotta go."

She picked up her bag and stepped towards the door. The Doctor rushed over towards her, closing the space between them and gripping her upper arms. She refused to look up at him.

"Rose, look at me."  
She shook her head, her hair falling into her face. The movement caused the promised tears to fall, flowing down her cheeks to her shirt.

"Look at me!"

She managed to look up at him, and locked her gaze with his tortured eyes.

The Doctor tried again to swallow the lump in his throat, but he couldn't get rid of it. He couldn't believe this was happening. For the second time in his haunted life, he was being separated from everything that was important to him; everything that he lived for was going to walk out the door and he was powerless to stop it.

"Please, Rose," he begged, his voice husky with emotion, "Please don't leave me."

A whimper fell from Rose's trembling lips.

"Rose, what will I do without you?" His voice broke as he spoke.

Rose blinked back fresh tears. She looked up at the man who meant everything to her, and wished he could understand. But he couldn't know. She couldn't let him know.

Without thinking, she reached up to the collar of his shirt and pulled him down to her, pressing her lips firmly to his for a fleeting moment, not risking lingering too long – she couldn't bear to think that this would be the one kiss, the only one _true_ kiss, they could share. She pulled away, and took a deep, shuddering breath.

"See ya, then, Doctor."

"Rose."

She pulled free of his grip and headed to the door without looking back. She couldn't bear to look back. The TARDIS hummed after her, mirroring the Doctor's despair and grief.

"Rose, please..."

Her hand touched the door, and she pushed it open and stepped resolutely out into the dull light of a London afternoon. She let the door close behind her, locking away the pain, and strode away from the blue box and the broken man inside it.

----

Jackie Tyler yawned widely as she made tea for the third time that afternoon. She was just about to call Bev's number for the third time, when the front door crashed open and a figure fell into a sobbing blonde mess at her feet.

Jackie dropped the phone.

"Rose! What's wrong? What the hell has he done now?"


End file.
